Thursday, May 13, 2010

Help, already!

It's 3:05. Neither of the boys have napped today. Perhaps they are on strike or something? I tried to put Christopher down this morning because he was in a really foul mood, but instead he just crawled out of the pack and play and pulled all of the leaves off of the trees of Jackson's camping room. Well, the ones he could reach anyway. So, I gave up and went and got him. We had lunch around 11:45, and I tried to put them both down around 12:30. It was 1:30, and neither of them were sleeping, and they were both starting to cry. Okay. I needed to run to the grocery store for the play date I'm hosting tomorrow anyway, so I thought I'd take them to the store, then lay them down after our errand. I went and got them out of bed. Chased them around the house with their shoes, until I managed to get all 4 shoes on all 4 feet, then did the same with their jackets. I loaded them into the car and we were off. I took the double stroller, because I really only needed to get a couple things. 1-2 2 liters of pop, some vegetable shortening to grease up the cake pan for the ball shaped cake I'm making, and some other sort of snack for the play date. I always tell myself that I won't go overboard for these play dates, and I always do. But this time, I'm really not going to! I swear! I realize that I AM making a soccer ball cake for tomorrow, but the ONLY reason I'm doing that is because I'm making Jackson's 2nd birthday cake and I want to practice with this one. I wouldn't want to wait until the last minute, only to find that I suck at making cakes and it's too late to order one. I digress. So, I like King Soopers (our grocery store's Kroger, just a different name, for some reason) because they have free cookies for the kids and the meat man knows me by name. I know that sounds dirty, but he really is the meat man. He always says hi and is really nice. So, I'm not really sure what other kind of snack I'm going to have, so I start looking around the deli. I find a spinach dip on sale so I grab it and put in on top of the handle bar of the stroller. Now I just need to get the Hawaiian bread. I go to the bread aisle, and...they are out. Crap. So I take the spinach dip back. I see that they have this meat, cheese and cracker tray. Buy one get one free. We can always eat more meat and cheese and crackers, so I decide to go with that. I load up BOTH of the trays on the handle bar. I get a couple other things and go to get the pop. They are having a sale on Pepsi. If you buy 6 2 liters, they are $.84 cents each. But you have to buy 6, otherwise they are about $1.25 each. That's a lot of pop, but we DO drink it around here and we DO have several parties coming up, so I think I can do it. I start loading up the stroller with 2 liters. Anywhere a 2 liter can fit, I shove it there. In the basket, beside the boys in their chairs, balancing more on the handle bars. So, now I have 6 2 liters, 2 deli trays, a giant package of paper plates (they were on sale too), some paper cups, plastic forks, spoons and knives, vegetable shortening, a big bag of cheetos (for the play date tomorrow...I swear) and Visine, because my eye is still red and itchy from getting powdered cheese in it 2 nights ago. Oh, I also have 2 boys. All in a double stroller. I decide NOT to be one of those people I bitch about on my blogs and go through the line, not the U-Scan. I don't know how your grocery store works, but at King Soopers, there is no conveyor belt thingy. You just push your cart right up to the cashier and they unload it for you, scanning your items as they unload. I had no cart, just a stroller, so I'm standing there, handing her things from under the boys, beside the boys, from the boys hands. Everywhere. She's scanning them, and the bagger is bagging them and putting them into a cart for me. A cart that I can't push, because I'm already pushing a double stroller. I'm thinking "well, surely they will offer to help me to my car. After all, they asked the last lady if she needed help to her car and she didn't have half the stuff I have, let alone 2 boys". Nope. They didn't ask. So, being the quick thinker I am, I push the boys with one hand and pull the cart behind me with the other hand. We look like a freakin' parade. Not to mention that double strollers really aren't that easy to steer with one hand. I had at least 5 people say "wow, you have your hands full!" and then walk away. No one offered to help. Jerks! I slowly, but surely get to the car. Unload the groceries, then return the cart. All the while, pushing the boys in the stroller. I unload Jackson out of the stroller and put him in his car seat. I unload Christopher out of the stroller and TRY to put him in his car seat. That would have been pretty easy had the asshole Escalade parked next to me on the drivers side given me more than about 4 inches. I couldn't even fit between the cars, let alone open the door and put Christopher in. So I go back to the passenger side and load Christopher over the top of Jackson. He's not a small boy. This wasn't easy, but I did it. I fold up the giant double stroller and load it in the back of the van and climb through the passenger side in the front seat to get to my seat. Exhausted, I head home. We get home, and I unload the groceries into the garage, then unload the boys. I immediately take them up to nap and start to make the first half of the soccer ball cake. It's in the oven now, Jackson is napping, and I can still hear Christopher up there. Just give it up already little dude!

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