Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The one where I talk about my body....

It's been nearly three weeks since giving birth, and I'm starting to feel much better.  I have more energy (even though I'm not getting much sleep) and I'm not as sore.  It's so nice to be on this side of pregnancy.  I love being able to bend over, lift things and be on my feet for more than a few minutes before having to sit down.  I've been really eager to start working out again.  When I took Gavin in for his two week checkup, I asked our doctor (we all go to the same doctor) if I was allowed to start working out.  She said no.  She said I could stretch and walk, but that I can't do any real working out until after 6 weeks.  That's disappointing.  I'm almost never motivated to work out, so I'd like to capitalize on this new found desire.  

I think the reason behind my motivation is that I know I can get my body back.  When I had Jackson I was told time and time again by other moms that I'll never really have my pre-baby body back.  That having a baby changes your shape forever.  Then I had Jackson.  And at first I wasn't motivated at all to get my pre-pregnancy body back.  I thought maybe that spare tire would just come off.  It didn't. Not a single inch. So I finally got motivated to try to take it off.  And guess what?  It worked.  It took almost 18 months, but I finally got down to my pre-Jackson size.  I was actually smaller than I was when I got pregnant.  So now, knowing that it's totally possible to get back to the way I was makes me really motivated and eager to get it started.  

Okay, here is the part where I justify myself.  I know I shouldn't have to defend my desire to get back my pre-baby body, but I also feel like if I don't justify myself, I'll get a lot of "you are so small, you don't need to lose weight" comments.  So, listen.  I'm aware that I have skinny arms and legs.  And I also know that the number on the scale is completely normal and healthy for my frame.  My goal isn't to lose weight, although that will probably happen when I lose the fat in my stomach.  My goal is to feel comfortable wearing shirts that hug my stomach.  And when I have babies, all the weight goes to my mid section.  And it stays there.  And people think I'm pregnant.  Because when you have really thin arms and legs, people assume that you should be thin everywhere.  And when you aren't, they assume you're pregnant.  And this isn't some sort of weird body image issue I've conjured up in my brain.  I've had people ask me when I'm due.  Lots of people.  Up until Jackson was 18 months old, people regularly asked me if I was pregnant.  Which never feels good.  

So, until my doctor clears me for that bootcamp that I bought on Groupon, I'll walk with the boys, and say no to ice cream.  Maybe.


Eh, probably not...

1 comment:

  1. I feel the SAME way! I actually went against orders and on week 2 I walked a pretty fast 2 miles and felt very sore in my lady parts. I told my doctor at S' 2 week check up (we have the same doctor too) and she told me no more working out until 6 weeks:-( Soon enough:-)