Here I go again on my own.....

This is the second week that I've had to take care of the boys by myself, since Gavin has been born.  The first week was about a month ago, between the time my mom left and my mother-in-law arrived.  This week is also the first week that Jackson has been in preschool two days a week, which means that I have to get him, myself and Gavin all ready to go and out the door by about 8:40.  Today we got to school 10 minutes early, so I'm giving myself a giant pat on the back for that one.  

We were all majorly spoiled when the grandmas were here.  They cooked, cleaned and helped with kids.  Jackson has been especially spoiled, which is to be expected, but I was a little worried that he would come crashing down after everyone left.  Left with his boring old mommy that does boring things, like cooking and cleaning and taking care of the baby.   He has definitely been acting out lately.  I don't know if it's because of the baby or if it's just because he's three, but this has definitely been the hardest time I've had parenting him, yet.  (BTW, everyone warns you that the terrible two have nothing on a three year old.  I didn't want to believe it when he was two, thinking that it could get worse, but it totally does.  Sorry to all you parents of two year old's.  Maybe your kid will be the exception....)   

 

He has done better this week than I expected though. One reason is that I've all but given up on napping him during the day and just moved his bedtime up about an hour.  He just won't nap.  And I'm really starting to think that he's just not tired enough yet.  He will easily nap when he's tired, like on the days when we go to the pool or the zoo.  But I'm learning that if he's not tired, there's nothing I can do to make him nap.  I'll try for hours and hours (literally, sometimes as many as 4 hours) to get him to nap.  Putting him back in his room, listening to him scream and cry.  For hours.  And on the very rare occasion that he actually does fall asleep (usually after at least 2 hours of crying) he's not tired at night and it takes me a couple hours to get him down then too.  I just don't have that kind of time or patience.  But if I don't nap him, he usually goes right down at an early bedtime without a major fuss.  Saving me anywhere from 4-6 hours a day of tantrums.  I'm too sleep deprived to have 6 hours of tantrums in my life. 

Speaking of sleep deprivation, I'm still on pretty much the same schedule with Gavin as I have always been.  He gets up every three hours, almost to the minute. Averaging me about 5-6 hours of very interrupted sleep a night, depending on how quickly I can get him to fall back asleep after feedings. I'm not used to that at all.  Jackson gave me up to 5 hours, even his first week home from the hospital.  And with Jackson, I could sleep when he slept during the day.  With Gavin, I'm up all day, because now I have another child that isn't sleeping during the day at all, and I can't just take a nap and not watch him.  I'm thinking of asking the doctor if she thinks he might have reflux though.  He's showing a lot of the symptoms of it and if he does actually have it and we get some medicine in him, we could maybe get a little more sleep out of him at night.

But we are hanging in there, and it's getting easier every day.  

How To: Tie A Wrap Baby Carrier

When I posted the blog about how to DIY your own baby wrap carrier, I had a few people ask me how I tied the wrap, so here is a step by step tutorial.  (And don't forget, you can win this wrap by commenting on my DIY baby wrap carrier post by Friday, August 26, 2011) 

The basic idea goes something like this:  Cross the back, cross the front, wrap around then tie.  

1)  Find the middle of the wrap and gather the fabric around your waist.

2)  Wrap the fabric around to your back.

3)  Take the fabric at your left hip and put it over your right shoulder.

4)  Take the fabric at your right hip and put it over your left shoulder, to form an X on your back.

5)  You'll now have the fabric over both shoulders, hanging down your front.  Take both sides of the fabric and slide it under the fabric around your waist.  

6)  Now cross the fabric, so you have an X on your front also.

7)  Take the ends of the fabric around your back.  You can tie it here, behind your back, or if you have enough fabric, you can:

8)  Continue wrapping around to the front and tie it in the front.  

You are all finished wrapping and tying.  Now you do a little prep to get the baby ready to go in. 

1)  Make a little pocket out of the side of the X in the front that is closest to your body.

2)  Then make a pocket on the outside part of the X.

Now how to put your baby in:

1)  Hold the baby on the shoulder opposite of the inside side of the X on your chest.  My inside part was on the right, so I'm holding Gavin on my left shoulder.  

2)  Slide the baby down your chest and into the pocket nearest to your body, with his feet and legs in the fetal position.  Slide the fabric over his legs, bottom and body.  (This part of the fabric is located at #1 on diagram above)

3)  Take the other pocket and wrap it around the baby's feet, bottom and body.  (#2 on diagram above)

4)  Now take the edge of the fabric around your waist and pull it up and over the baby.  (#3 on diagram above)

5)  Then I take his head and snuggle it on my chest and wrap the fabric around his head to hold it in place.  

I hope this tutorial helps.  I think the best way to really learn how to do it is to just try it yourself.  There are also many videos out there demonstrating how to do this, and many different holds as well.  

Happy baby wearing!

Mile High Momday: DIY Baby Wrap Carrier

When I had Jackson, I had a baby sling that I put him in all the time.  About a year later, it was recalled.  It didn't really matter too much to me, because he had outgrown it already, but then when I got pregnant with Gavin, I started doing research on something to replace the sling.  Everything I read was saying that the wrap style baby carriers were the way to go.  I had seen these before, but to be honest, they looked WAY too complicated for my busy life.  Sure, they were great once you took 15 minutes to tie it around yourself and put the baby in, but I just don't have that kind of time or patience.  I was talking to a neighbor of mine about these wraps and she said she had one that I could borrow.  So I did.  And it sat in the nursery for the first two weeks.  Then one day I got the motivation to try it out, and Googled how to wrap it around me.  It took me a couple minutes the first time, but once I got Gavin settled in, he loved it.

 He fell right into a swaddled baby sleep and that's how he stayed until I took him out.  

And it was so much more comfortable on me than most other carriers.  It's super lightweight and not bulky, so you can still go about your business.  And after I figured out how to wrap it, it only takes me a minute to wrap it around me and put Gavin in it. The other thing I loved about using a wrap is that I felt that Gavin was so much more secure than any other carriers I have.  I have both the Ergo (with the infant insert) and the Bjorn, and while they are both good for older babies, I always feel like I need to support his head with my hand when I moved around.  When you wrap the baby, their head is firmly on your chest and not going anywhere. Being truly hands free is a necessity for me right now because of Jackson.  So I fell in love with this wrap, the only problem is that I was just borrowing it from a neighbor and needed to give it back.  Similar wraps can run you upwards of $70 (or more), and that's just not a possibility right now.  Enter DIY.  For about $16 a wrap, I made my own, and you can too.  No, seriously.  You don't even have to know how to sew!  Here's how:

This is what the original borrowed one from the neighbor looked like, all laid out.

1)  Go to your local fabric store and get 6 yards (5 if you have a smaller frame) of a knit or rayon blend stretchy fabric.  Like t-shirt material.  The key with this is to get something that rolls on the ends and doesn't fray.  You'll want something with a little give in it.  A jersey knit is best.  The fabric I got was a little more expensive at almost $13 a yard, but I never shop at Joann's without a 50% off coupon, so that brought it down to $6.50 a yard.  That's still really expensive fabric, but I was being really picky and wanted something super soft and lightweight, since it's still in the 90's here.  You could get it for as low as $2.50 a yard, (with a coupon) if you really wanted to.  This fabric will be enough for you to make 2 wraps.  (Sorry, you can't get 3 yards and only make one wrap, you'll see why later....)

2)  Now that you have your fabric, find a place with lots of floor space and lay out the fabric.  Fold it in half long wise and in half long wise again, so that the fabric is shorter, but it's still the same original width of the fabric.  

3)  Now you cut it in half, width wise, so you have 2 pieces of fabric that are 6 yards long and about 25-30 inches wide (depending on how wide the fabric you bought was).  You don't have to sew a hem in it or anything, because the fabric doesn't fray!

 

4)  You're done!  Take one of those puppies and wrap your baby around you and go about your business.  

Now, for those of you that want extra credit, here are a couple more steps that I took, to give it a more finished look.  

1)  Take one of your wraps and fold it width wise.  

2)  Cut a triangle off the open side at the end, like this:

So it tapers at the ends, like this:

3)  Do that to both sides.

This step makes it a little less bulky at the ends, where you tie it and it hangs down.  

If you really want to go above and beyond, you can hem the edges. 

I'm a pinner and found that pinning and ironing this material really does help to keep it in place. I also fold it over twice, so you don't see the raw edge.

Ta Da!

 

 

I realized after making this and looking at the pictures that I look an awful lot like the Statue of Liberty.

Here's the best part, this DIY project makes two wraps!  That means that I have an extra one that I'll be GIVING AWAY!  All you have to do is leave a comment (any comment) and I'll randomly pick someone to give it to on Friday.  I'll even ship it to you for free! 

The one where I talk about my body....

It's been nearly three weeks since giving birth, and I'm starting to feel much better.  I have more energy (even though I'm not getting much sleep) and I'm not as sore.  It's so nice to be on this side of pregnancy.  I love being able to bend over, lift things and be on my feet for more than a few minutes before having to sit down.  I've been really eager to start working out again.  When I took Gavin in for his two week checkup, I asked our doctor (we all go to the same doctor) if I was allowed to start working out.  She said no.  She said I could stretch and walk, but that I can't do any real working out until after 6 weeks.  That's disappointing.  I'm almost never motivated to work out, so I'd like to capitalize on this new found desire.  

I think the reason behind my motivation is that I know I can get my body back.  When I had Jackson I was told time and time again by other moms that I'll never really have my pre-baby body back.  That having a baby changes your shape forever.  Then I had Jackson.  And at first I wasn't motivated at all to get my pre-pregnancy body back.  I thought maybe that spare tire would just come off.  It didn't. Not a single inch. So I finally got motivated to try to take it off.  And guess what?  It worked.  It took almost 18 months, but I finally got down to my pre-Jackson size.  I was actually smaller than I was when I got pregnant.  So now, knowing that it's totally possible to get back to the way I was makes me really motivated and eager to get it started.  

Okay, here is the part where I justify myself.  I know I shouldn't have to defend my desire to get back my pre-baby body, but I also feel like if I don't justify myself, I'll get a lot of "you are so small, you don't need to lose weight" comments.  So, listen.  I'm aware that I have skinny arms and legs.  And I also know that the number on the scale is completely normal and healthy for my frame.  My goal isn't to lose weight, although that will probably happen when I lose the fat in my stomach.  My goal is to feel comfortable wearing shirts that hug my stomach.  And when I have babies, all the weight goes to my mid section.  And it stays there.  And people think I'm pregnant.  Because when you have really thin arms and legs, people assume that you should be thin everywhere.  And when you aren't, they assume you're pregnant.  And this isn't some sort of weird body image issue I've conjured up in my brain.  I've had people ask me when I'm due.  Lots of people.  Up until Jackson was 18 months old, people regularly asked me if I was pregnant.  Which never feels good.  


So, until my doctor clears me for that bootcamp that I bought on Groupon, I'll walk with the boys, and say no to ice cream.  Maybe.


Probably.


Eh, probably not...

A love letter, part two

Dear Sweet Baby Gavin,
I love you so much. You are so sweet and laid back and easy. But oh my God you are such a NOISY sleeper! So tonight, I'm kicking you out of our bedroom. I'll miss having you right beside me in your bassinet, but Mommy is SO tired and desperate for a decent nights sleep. I've set up a great crib for you in your nursery. If you need me, cry nice and loud and I'll come to you.

Love,
Mommy

And then there were four.....

 

We've been home from the hospital for ten days now and are definitely in the swing of things.  Gavin is such a laid back baby.  He rarely cries, and mostly sleeps all day and night.  I know that most newborns sleep most of the time, but I'm still feeling really lucky to have such an easy baby.  The nights are the hardest part, for sure, but even at that, he is sleeping for 2-3 hours at a time.  I get up and feed him, and he usually goes right back to sleep.  Sometimes he'll fuss for a while, or want to eat even more.  Those nights are harder, but we are making it work.  It's been business as usual during the day.  Running errands, going to birthday parties, and playing with friends.  I try to keep Gavin either on my body (wearing him in a carrier) or all covered up in his car seat/stroller combo.  They are so easy and portable at this age.  It's great!  I'm still pretty sore, and being on my feet for a long time hurts, so we tend to not be gone all day anyway.  Plus, having a three year old makes it more difficult to run around all day.  

 
 
 

Jackson is doing what I would expect.  He loves his baby brother and likes to help out with him.  He'll get concerned when he cries.  But he is definitely acting more whiny and wanting my attention more.  I've been trying to give him some one on one time, completely away from Gavin, here and there.  And my mom is here with us, so that really helps.  I'm sure that when my mom and mother-in-law leave, there will be quite an adjustment for him.

 

I'm doing well.  Sleep deprived for sure, but I don't care.  I absolutely LOVE this stage of having a baby!  Having a newborn in the house makes me want to have ten more babies.  He is so sweet and cuddly and sleepy and soft and I am so in love. 

P.S.  These are the pictures that were taken at the hospital when Gavin was 1 day old.

What would have been 39 weeks

Okay, okay.  I know I'm not actually pregnant anymore, but I thought I'd share how this last week has been going for me, physically and mentally.  Then, I promise I'll stop with these weekly updates.  

I've totally fallen in love all over again, which has made anything else I've been going through totally worth it.  I thought, given that Gavin is my second child, maybe I wouldn't want to just sit and hold him and stare at him night and day, but I totally do.  I am one smitten kitten.  He is so perfect and laid back and the everything we could hope for in a new addition to our family. 

As for how I've been feeling, physically.  Eh, pretty good.  Considering I just shot a baby out of my lady business like a canon.  I'm still extremely sore, you know, down there.  Walking or standing for any extended period of time gets really uncomfortable, so I have to try to remind myself to sit down regularly.  I was super crampy for the first few days, but that has almost completely stopped now.  

Now, for my boobs.  They are broken.  I tried pumping this past week.  One day, I got about a half ounce total at one sitting.  I was ecstatic.  I thought it was the beginning of a good thing.  Then about two or three hours later I pumped again, and got a little less.  Two hours after that the milk barely even covered the bottom of the bottle.  Every time I pumped after that I got less and less, until absolutely nothing came out.  Not.  One.  Drop.  I can't say I understand why.  I continued pumping, like I should have.  My milk came in and I was engorged, but nothing came out.  I'm also not going to lie and say that I'm terrible surprised OR terribly disappointed.  I went into this not even sure if I wanted to pump or breastfeed at all, so I'm proud of myself for even trying.  It didn't work out.  It's okay. 

I've been feeling pretty good, emotionally, this week.  Much better than when I had Jackson.  I guess with Jackson I was so overwhelmed with everything and I wasn't expecting it.  This time I was prepared to be overwhelmed and I'm really not.  My extremely fast labor is really the only thing that has been bothering me.  Don't get me wrong.  I'm am so very grateful that I had a successful labor and delivery and that Gavin and I are both just fine and healthy.  But after doing a little research on the ever reliable Google, I found out just how scary that situation was and how wrong it could have gone.  Apparently, I had what is called a "precipitous labor".  It's a medical term for a fast labor, 3 hours or less from start to finish, and it happens in about 2% of all labors.  I definitely fit into that 2%.  As great as it must sound to some people, especially for women who have had really long labors, it can be quite dangerous, and is definitely not an ideal situation for moms or babies.  Google told me all about the increased risk of cervical lacerations, tearing, hemorrhaging, emotional distress and mother's loss of ability to cope with labor, hypoxia from intense contractions, fetal distress, and cerebral  or lung damage to the baby from going through the birth canal too fast.  Those are scary things.  And, thankfully, none of those things happened to us.  But it really was very traumatic and intense, and not something I'll ever forget about.  It's been hard to not think about it.  And hard to not think of "what ifs".  The biggest "what if" would be "what if I get pregnant again?"  Seriously.  I'm not interested in having a home birth.  And although it's completely useless to even think about that at this point, as I have no intention of getting pregnant again anytime soon, those thoughts are definitely creeping into my mind here and there.  Fortunately, I have time on my side.  Time to forget just a little bit.  And time to decide if we do want to have another baby.  

But all in all, I would say that I'm feeling pretty good.  I feel ready to get out of the house more and be active.  I just need to wait for my body to catch up to my mind.   

 

Gavin's Birthday

Here's the crazy story of how Gavin Alexander entered this world.  I woke up Thursday the 28th by Jackson walking in our bedroom a little after 8:00 a.m.  I realized that I had had a few "real" contractions throughout the night.  I assumed it was no big deal.  They were strong enough to wake me up, but not strong enough for me to think twice about them, or time them or anything.  Eric got up then too and got in the shower.  I told him that I had a few real contractions in my sleep, but that they were really irregular and to go to work anyway.  By the time he got out of the shower around 8:30 I had experienced maybe 2 or 3 more "real" contractions and asked him to not leave for work until after I took my shower.  I started timing them with a free contraction timer iphone app I downloaded and asked him to push the start button for me when I had contractions while I was showering.  During that time my contractions were ranging anywhere from 10 seconds to over a minute and were anywhere from 1 minute to 7 or 8 minutes apart.  Some of them hurt really bad, some hardly at all.  I still wasn't convinced I was actually in labor yet though.  By the time I got out of the shower, dressed and ready, it was 9:15 and I had a feeling that I should at least get Jackson to our neighbor's house.  I sent him next door at 9:30 with the idea that I would see how it goes at home for a while.  By 9:35, I was yelling at Eric that we should go to the hospital right away.  I knew I was in labor.  I wasn't timing my contractions anymore, because my "free trial" was over on my "free" app.  (stupid Apple!)  But they were coming every couple minutes were very intense!  He called our doctor's office (who was still out of town) and told them I was in labor and to call the backup OB.  They were really casual about it, and said that they'd call back after they called the backup OB.  We live about 15 minutes from the hospital and, of course, they randomly had a lane closed for construction on our way.  It took probably 20 minutes to actually get there.  I walked into the hospital (was offered a wheel chair, but sitting down made it hurt much worse) and went straight to labor and delivery.  They asked if I had called ahead.  "No."  They asked if my doctor had called ahead.  "No." "But I'm for sure in labor and went fast last time".  I was impressed with how quickly they moved me along.  I didn't have to go to triage first, like last time, they took me straight to a room and had me change into a gown.  By this time I was screaming and crying in pain and just wanted an epidural.  (And was making that abundantly clear!)  They promised me they would get me one, but needed to check me and the baby first.  They tried to strap a fetal monitor on me, but it hurt so bad to have the band pressing on my stomach, I'm not sure if they ever got it on right.  They never even tried to get the contraction monitor one on. She checked me and I was 100% effaced, baby was at 0 station and I was dilated to 7 cm.  I completely freaked, because I knew how fast I was going, and was scared I wouldn't get the epidural.  There were now several nurses in the room and they got an IV started on me and immediately called the anesthesiologist.  He was there within a couple minutes and started the procedure.  I was about 2 minutes into the procedure, sitting up on the edge of the bed and I suddenly felt the baby coming out.  Yes, COMING OUT!  There was SO much pressure and pain I was screaming and crying.  They laid me back down to check me, even though the anesthesiologist wasn't finished, and I was 10 cm and ready to push.  The anesthesiologist had gone as far as to give me the initial shot in my back and put the catheter in, but hadn't actually hooked the epidural medicine in yet.  They called a doctor in the room while they prepped the table for pushing.  By the next contraction, the doctor was there and I started to push, feeling EVERYTHING!  It was an overwhelming urge to push, but I was also very scared to push, because it hurt so much more.  I was screaming that I could still feel everything and the doctor finally told me "You are going to feel everything, JUST PUSH!"  So I did.  And on the next contraction at 10:26, I pushed long enough and hard enough to push him out.  I had been in the hospital less than 45 minutes.  I didn't even have a hospital bracelet on or anything.  

 

After delivering the baby, the doctor gave me a local anesthetic to stitch me up.  About 15 minutes after that, the initial numbing shot kicked in and I went mostly numb.  I laid in the bed, numb, for about an hour or two, waiting for the medicine to wear off.  It was at that point that I wished I wouldn't have insisted on the epidural.  I felt everything anyway AND went through the process of an epidural too.  I had lots of nurses come and go in my room during that numb hour.  They finally checked me in, and I made several phone calls and texts.  (And Facebook status updates...I mean, I wasn't actually doing anything at that point!)  All of the nurses and doctors were so shocked at how fast everything went and kept telling me what a good job I did.  I didn't feel like I did that great of a job.  I mean, I was screaming and crying the whole time.  But the baby was born and everyone was okay, so I suppose it was a success.  One nurse commented that if I ever get pregnant again, my husband better know how to do a home birth.  I kind of laughed, but she kept her straight face and said "no, I'm serious".  Oh.  In hindsight, I don't know how I could have gone in any earlier.  I went in as soon as I was sure I was in labor.  I'm also really glad I didn't send Eric to work that day and that he slept late that morning.  I would have had to call 911 otherwise and Eric would have missed the birth completely.  I also would have skipped the epidural, had I known.  (I betcha I'll still get a bill for it though)  

Our stay at the hospital went great.  Gavin finally got his name about 24 hours after he was born, after MUCH discussion all day Thursday.  I breastfed the first day at the hospital, and it was as painful as it was with Jackson.  I met with a lactation consultant on Friday, and she advised that I actually stop trying to get him to breastfeed, and just focus on pumping. (A second consultant also agreed on Saturday)  As she put it, it's an issue with my skin tissue, NOT the baby's latch or anything having to do with the baby.  The problem is not fixable, so the only way to really deal with it is to manage how I'm damaging the tissue and try to go as easy on it as possible.  With pumping I can control the speed and suction and try to minimize the damage.  So far I've been pumping for three days and haven't gotten a single drop, even though my milk is coming in.  I'm hopeful that I'll be able to start actually producing tomorrow.  I've been giving Gavin formula the whole time though, and am okay if that's all he ever has.  He's a great eater!  I'll be sure to update about Gavin and our nursing/feeding adventure as things unfold.  


I'm so grateful that he is here and we are all healthy.  Jackson is adjusting pretty well too, although he has been extra whiny and needy since we've been home, but that's to be expected.  It's an adjustment for all of us! 

Gavin is here!

Our little Gavin Alexander is here! He was born on Thursday July 28 at 10:26 a.m. and was 6 pounds, 10 ounces and 19 1/2 inches long. We are all home safe and sound now and everyone is doing great! I'll be sure to add tons of pictures and tell his birth story soon!

38 Weeks

You know you are getting close to having a baby when your uterus expires before the gallon of milk in your fridge!

Only one more week, at the most!  I have to say, I'm really really hoping that I make it all the way to 39 weeks and get induced.  So many people would think I'm crazy for wanting to be induced, and I'll admit that most of my reasons are rather selfish.  I mostly want to make it so that I'm positive that I'll have someone at our house, ready to care for Jackson.  (I have amazing friends and neighbors that have all volunteered to take Jackson, but I hate to put that on them)  I got a call last week from my sister telling me that she couldn't come to Denver anymore.  Between that, and my doctor being out of town until Sunday, I've been crossing my fingers, and legs, that this baby waits until the 3rd, when I can be induced.  My mom will be here.  My doctor will be here.  There will be minimal surprises.  I just really want it to work out that way.  And besides, just yesterday was my last day of work, and I feel like I haven't had much time to relax.  And we still don't have a name picked out.  BUT, I know that's not the way it works and this baby will come when he's good and ready.  I've just been trying stay off my feet as much as possible, drink lots of water and stay cool.  I guess that's all I can do.

Baby's size: 6.8 pounds and over 19 1/2 inches long, like a leek.

Belly size: About 40 1/2 inches around.  Same as last week.

Cravings:  I've had lots and lots of pink lemonade this week, but that might have something to do with how hot it is outside.  Twix candy bars have also sounded really good, but I've mostly resisted that craving.....mostly.

Mood: I'm getting a little touchy.  I've noticed myself getting annoyed very easily and a little more weepy than usual.  I think I'm just over all of this.

Symptoms:  The most annoying symptom right now is the pain down really low.  It makes walking or even lifting my leg to walk very difficult and painful.  This is something I never experienced with my first pregnancy.  I don't know how people do this more than 2 or 3 times! I've also had some other, rather unpleasant painful symptoms that I think a lot of pregnant women (and just unlucky people in general) experience.  I'll leave a little to your imagination, and just say two words.  Sitz bath.  Ugh! 

Go to clothing: Anything that goes over my belly and isn't too hot!

Sleep:  The last few nights have given me trouble.  I'm really uncomfortable, have to pee every 30 minutes and can't even roll over.  Not to mention that I've been stressing about baby's name and "what if I go into labor before next Wednesday" thoughts race through my mind.

Baby movement:  He's definitely running out of room and moving a lot less.