***Let me just preface this by saying that I'm NOT looking for advice here, only empathy or a volunteer to watch Jackson for a little bit. (not that anyone will be willing to watch him after I write this blog) This is me. Venting.***
The past couple of weeks have been really rough for me. Eric has been working overtime everyday during the week and on weekends too. (This is an absolutely necessary thing for us right now, so stopping isn't an option) Most days he leaves before Jackson wakes up and doesn't get home until 7:00 or 7:30 at night. He comes home, we quickly eat dinner, then I get Jackson ready for bed. I spend the next 2-3 hours trying to get Jackson to lay down, maybe watch a show on DVR, but usually just collapse on the bed. Wake up in the morning and am all alone with Jackson again. I love him more than anything, but spending that much time with anyone will start to wear on even the best of us. And probably because he isn't seeing his daddy as much, and probably because my patience is wearing thin, Jackson has been really testing me. He will chase the dogs around the house. I'll tell him to stop chasing the dogs. He'll stop chasing them and start hitting them. I'll tell him to stop hitting the dogs. He'll stop hitting them and start "fake" kicking them (not actually touching them, but getting close). I'll tell him to be nice to the dogs and he'll squeeze them too hard giving them a hug. I'll tell him to leave the dogs alone. He'll leave them alone and start whining for a cookie. I'll tell him he can have a cookie after lunch and then he'll start whining for candy. I'll tell him he can't have anything until after he eats his lunch and then he'll start screaming at the top of his lungs. This goes ON and ON as long as he is awake. It's EXHAUSTING!!! He does do better when we are out of the house, or with other people, but I'm usually too exhausted to do anything out of the house or with other people. And when he does do this testing game in public is even more exhausting. And then there is potty training. Which is going very well, but it's become just another game that he plays. Holding it when he clearly has to go and is dancing around and holding himself. When I ask him if he has to go he screams NOOOOO! Then finally goes once he's about to have an accident. I've stopped asking him and started just letting him tell me. He did have an accident yesterday because of this. And as far as pooping goes, he will tell me he has to go when he doesn't really have to go yet. He'll sit on the potty, tell me he doesn't have to go, then repeats that every 5 minutes or so until he finally gives in and goes. This can last anywhere from 20 minutes to 2 hours. Yesterday he did this while I was in the shower. I got out of the shower FIVE TIMES to sit him on the potty. He finally went after I finished showering, turned the water off and dried off.
I'm pretty sure I know what needs to happen to get us both out of this funk, and I have a feeling that step one is for me to get a break. A morning or afternoon by myself. To use the massage gift certificate that I got for Christmas, or get my hair cut, or eat lunch in peace, or ALL THREE OF THOSE THINGS! Step two is the more difficult step, which is why I'll need to be rejuvenated for it. It involves a serious toddler boot camp for Jackson, as well as a series of regularly planned activities for both of us.
Sooooo....any takers? I can't really pay you, but I CAN watch your kiddo(s) for you some morning or afternoon so you can do something you need to do. Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?