Wednesday, February 2, 2011

A little peach




We saw our little peach for the first time today!

I was really nervous going in to this ultra sound. With Jackson I had a couple ultra sounds by this time, so I had that validation that there was actually a baby in there. This time I just had the reassurance that I hadn't bled or had cramping, which is always a good thing, but certainly not enough to help me feel out of the woods. As soon as she put the ultrasound machine on my stomach the baby was in the perfect position to measure the folds on the back of the neck (kind of reclined, as if in a hammock). She said she wanted to hurry to get those measurements before the baby moved around too much, since that was the whole point of this visit. Little did we know that that's the position the baby would stay in for the next 15 minutes, so hurrying wasn't necessary. Everything looked great! A strong heartbeat of 160. Nothing out of the ordinary. While she was looking around, I asked her if there was any way she could tell the sex. She kinda shrugged me off, telling me a story about how she was told the wrong sex at 14 weeks, but that she would "give it a shot". Which, I guess, technically, she did. She put the ultrasound thingy between the baby's legs for about 5 seconds, didn't zoom in, or anything, and said she couldn't really tell. From what I saw, there was a tiny nub there, but most babies (boys AND girls) have some what of a nub at this point. With Jackson there was clearly a twig and berries at 12 weeks. This time there wasn't clearly anything there. Not the standard "hamburger" or "equal sign" for a girl, or twig and berries for a boy. (Although, I really think that if she would have zoomed in or even tried a little harder, we could have seen something) I guess I just wasn't supposed to find out early this time? Maybe it's to help me let go of the "having a girl" dream I've always had. It's not that I don't want a boy, I just really want a girl. (it makes sense in my head) And knowing that this is our last baby (famous last words) I'd just really love to have the experience of being a mother to both a boy and a girl. Of course the most important thing is to have a healthy baby. That goes without saying. And it also goes without saying that I will love this baby to the ends of the Earth, no matter what. Healthy, unhealthy, boy, girl. It doesn't matter. Seeing this gorgeous baby today, already being cooperative and waving at us, definitely helps me let go of any pre-existing ideas I've had of being a Mommy to a little girl. Although I will probably still give myself a few minutes to be sad and let go, if I do find out it's a boy. Then I'll head straight to Joann Fabric's to get started on a boy rag quilt I've been dying to make!

Now I have to wait seven more weeks (until I'm 20 weeks) to find out the gender. SEVEN MORE WEEKS! That's, like, 3 years to an anxious pregnant Mommy! Or I could pay $100, and go to an ultrasound facility to find out at 16 weeks. It's SOOOOOO tempting. Like, I-could-sell-plasma-to-come-up-with-the-money, tempting.

2 comments:

  1. I am secretly hoping we'll have a girl too, and the suspense is killing me! This will be our first, so I know I will end up being very happy with either one, but I understand your longing for a girl! I'd say don't give up yet!

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  2. There is such a fine line between not giving up on my girl and letting go of the idea of having a girl. I don't want to set myself up for disappointment, but I also know that this is the only time in my life I can still have that dream.

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