There is nothing funny about having vertigo

There is nothing funny about having vertigo. There is, however, something very funny about watching someone who has vertigo. It's like watching a wasted teenager try and act sober in front of their parents. I've been a train wreck lately. I went to bed Tuesday night feeling a little dizzy. I assumed it was low blood sugar, or I was too tired, or something. Well, I quickly realized there was something more going on when I woke up Wednesday morning, stood up, and fell over. I managed to take a shower, holding on the the walls the whole time. When I got out of the shower I stumbled over to Eric and asked him to take a sick day to take care of me and the boys. (There was no way I could drive myself to the doctor.) He reluctantly agreed, thinking that I was exaggerating my condition. In actuality, I think I was downplaying how bad I really felt. I had Christopher too, so that meant both boys for Eric to take care of. I called the doctor and made an appointment right away. We got the boys ready and Eric drove me to the hospital, where my doctor's office is. Since it was so early, I got in quickly and she took one look in my ears and said there was tons of fluid in them. She gave me a prescription to help with the dizziness and told me to take sudafed around the clock to dry me out. Both of the medicines together knocked me out, but I did feel less dizzy and was able to eat and someone continue on with my life. Since then the dizziness has come and gone and I've slept more than I have in a very long time.

Four More Days....

When Jackson was about eleven months old I started thinking about how I could make some extra money. The most obvious thing to do was to watch kids out of the house. I have my degree in early childhood education, was a teacher for years and I'm home, taking care of Jackson anyway, so what's the big deal adding more kids? I quickly found some kiddos to watch. It kind of fell in my lap. The boy across the street needed new daycare, and a little girl who used to go to his daycare needed new care too. It was easy money. Or so I thought. I started watching all three of them and quickly got them on the same schedule. They got along moderately well, and it really wasn't three times as hard as watching one. I just made more of the lunch I'd make Jackson. I'd have to put three kids to bed instead of one, which could be difficult, but they were all good sleepers, so I usually got a break. I had to change three times the diapers. There's no way to make that easier. I just changed a lot of diapers. But here was the problem. I was miserable! When it was just Jackson and I, we would go out almost every day. We'd meet friends for playdates, or story time. We'd go shopping. We'd just get out! Now, I was trapped at home. Trapped with no mental stimulation. Trapped with nothing to do but think about how miserable I was. In all honesty, I think this past year of my life has been the hardest year of my life, mentally. I've made lots of progress, but I still think that watching kids is not a good choice for me. First of all, it doesn't pay for shit. I could work at McDonald's and make more money an hour than watching kids. It's simply not worth my time and stress it brings me. Also, watching kids is hindering me from going full force on what it is I really want to be doing with my life, selling real estate. But here's the problem. I can't not pull in income on a regular basis. Real estate pays really well, when you can get it, but you never know when you are going to get it, so I need to find a way to either make money or save money on a regular basis to make real estate work. That's where the move comes in. We will save enough money by moving that I can focus on where I want my career to go and still be with Jackson. Now, I only have childcare income for the next four days. The kid I watch starts his new daycare next Monday. They had to start then to get a great financial incentive. I don't blame them. So now I need to find a renter for our house and get moved into the new place. I need this to work out. I need to not watch kids anymore. I need my real estate career to take off. So, please, send me your business. I promise I'll take good care of you. It's what I love doing!

How I am like Rex on Toy Story

So, I've seriously seen Toy Story 1 and 2 eleventeen billion times in the past couple months. My son is obsessed with it. Usually it's just playing in the background and he's not actually sitting and watching it. He's playing while it's playing. But that means that I'm listening to it. I've decided that the character I'm most like is Rex. Here's why:

*I think he is so funny, but he doesn't think he's funny. He's just being himself. People tell me I'm funny. I don't think I'm funny, I just say what I'm thinking and sometimes those thoughts make other people laugh.

*He's got a great moral compass and is a rule follower. That's totally me and I get so disturbed when other people don't have that moral compass. For instance, in toy story 2, Rex finds the "how to defeat Zurg" magazine at Al's toy barn. He get's really annoyed when he finds out that the only way to defeat Zurg is to buy the magazine. "It's extortion!" he says. (I totally agree Rex!) And when they are driving the pizza truck to the airport Rex gets upset when they park in a white zone. "We can't park here! It's a white zone!" Nevermind the fact that they just stole a car, Rex. That would be me. I'd steal a car, then follow all the driving laws.

*He hates confrontation. I hate confrontation. In Toy Story 1, when Woody pushes Buzz out the window the other toys ask Rex if he believes Woody that he didn't mean to push him out the window. His response? "Yes! No! I don't like confrontation!" Now, don't get me wrong. If someone challenges my moral compass I will fight to the death, but, in general I'll do whatever it takes to avoid it.

*He is fiercely loyal. He is willing to go out of his comfort zone to help a friend. I'd like to think I'd do the same if any of my friends were kidnapped and sold to the Konishi Toy Museum in Tokyo.

*He has an innocence about him. Okay, I realize that after reading about my waxing experiences you might not think that I'm overly innocent. And I'm really not that innocent, but I do think I have an innocence about me. I think when people first meet me, they think I'm a "goody-two-shoes". Chelsea Handler even told me she thought I was a goody-two-shoes one time. (Isn't EVERYONE innocent compared to her though?) And I do think I have a genuine innocence about me too. It doesn't take much to make me happy and I find joy in the small things in life.

So, which Toy Story character are you most like?

Galoshes and aprons....

So, I have this image in my head of what life will be like living in the wilderness. And, being the good Seymour-girl I am, I have visions of what I should wear. For some reason, my visions include cute aprons and rain boots. (It doesn't rain that much here, it's just part of my vision) Maybe not at the same time....maybe at the same time. So last night I made a cute apron. I'm no cobbler, so I ordered my rain boots from Target. They will be here in about a week..... I realize that the way I'm picturing things isn't always reality, but since I'm just stuck here, waiting for the perfect renter to rent our house, sewing and daydreaming makes me feel better in the mean time.

A waxing update:

So, yesterday it had been three weeks since I first tried my hand at waxing. I've gotta say, I've never had such a reaction to a blog. Even my dad said asked me to email him a copy so he could share it with friends. Yeah, not at all awkward.... But people were asking me all kinds of questions, like did it really hurt that bad? Yes. Did I like the results? Yes. Would I do it again? That depends. Would I do what I did before again? No. But I would do it again in a less hairy state. They say that the more you wax, the thinner and more sparse it grows in. So, it has been three weeks. The first two weeks, I was hairless. It was awesome. No razor burn. No bumps. No hair. The third week it started growing back, but much less dense and thick. Honestly, if you stood back about 10 feet and squinted, you might not have even been able to see the hair at all. So I decided last night that I was going to wax it again, before it got too unmanageable. And I've gotta say, I don't have a funny story, because it was no big deal! Really! It was over and done in about 45 minutes, and I didn't even have to get drunk to do it! I'm not even sore today. So, my advise for anyone thinking of trying this at home? Get it done by a professional the first time, then do it yourself every 3 or 4 weeks, or however long it takes to grow out but still be manageable.

Why I have short hair...

I have short hair. I've had short hair for the last 12 years, with a few bouts of trying to grow it out. People have asked me before why I have short hair. It all started the summer before my sophomore year in college. I was in the marching band in college and when we were in uniform (which was a lot), we either had to french brain it and have it completely under our hats, or cut it so the back of your hair didn't touch the back of your uniform's collar. After one year of french braiding my hair constantly, I decided to cut it. I'm SO glad I did. First of all, it made being in uniform a lot easier and more comfortable, but I also really liked the way it looked. I have a thin face, and when I have long hair, it makes my face look really long. The short hair balanced out my face a little better. Well, I've been out of college for a long time, but I still have my short hair. Why? It's certainly not the popular look. Most guys don't find girls with short hair attractive (not that I'm seeking that out or anything). It's not easier to take care of (waking up with bed head every morning and having to get it cut every 6 weeks). I have short hair because it looks good on me and suits me and my personality. I think it takes a special person to be able to pull off short hair. You have to be confident to have short hair. You can't hide with short hair. Kind of like when a guy shaves his head. You have to be pretty confident to pull it off. There is no hair to hide your face. You are exposed. Out there for everyone to look at.

So, I haven't gotten my hair cut since June. That's a very long time for me. I've trimmed it myself, just to keep it growing in a somewhat acceptable manner. I'd love to try out having long hair for a bit, before wasting my time growing it out, but I know that extensions would make me look like Dog the Bounty Hunter, so I'll have to do it the old fashion way. I love the idea of being able to pull it back and get it out of my face. I chase around a two year old all day, everyday. Easy sounds nice. And I'm ready for a new look, but here's the problem: I'd hate that I'd have hair like everyone else's. I like being different. I've always liked being a little different. If I do go through with trying a new look for my hair, I guess I'll have to find another way to be different looking. Any suggestions?

Confessions of a hoarder....

Hello. My name is Michele, and I'm a hoarder. Well, not in the traditional sense, but I am a t shirt hoarder. So, we are working on downsizing our house, and that means that I've been going through the clothes in my closet, since that is going to be one of the hardest things for me to downsize. I'm not getting rid of any clothes, necessarily. I just did that and gave a bunch to Goodwill. I'm sorting through my clothes and deciding which ones will go to storage and which ones will make it to the new closet. This is a pretty easy task. After all, I probably only wear about 25% of the clothes in my closet on a regular basis anyway. But the easiness stops when I get to my t shirts. I have a lot. Like, really a lot. I wouldn't say that I "collect" them, because that would make me sound like a nerdy 12 year old girl, but I don't get rid of them. I have t shirts from elementary school. Literally. But, here's the thing. I wear them. All of them. I wear them to sleep in and clean in, and many of them I actually wear in public. And each one has some sort of special memory or takes me to that time I got it, or whatever. So, I just can't get rid of them. I managed to cut it down to less than 20 t shirts and store the rest. I imagine myself still having these t shirts when I'm an old lady. I'll be the only 90 year old in the nursing home that's wearing an Ohio University Sib's Weekend 1995 Calvin and Hobbes t shirt. My great grand kids will go through my vintage t shirt collection and fight over my Dave Matthews Band tour t shirts and Ohio University Marching 110 shirts. (They will be even more special because it will be the Marching 330 by then.....oh, and they'll march flutes too....)

So, I'm keeping my shirts. I'm doing it for my great grand kids.

Cheese!

When I was pregnant with Jackson, we got an ad in the mail for a dentist. On it was a creepy yet hilarious picture of a smiling bear. Like, with human teeth. So, I cut it out and hid it on Eric's pillow for him to find when he went to bed that night
The next morning, I found the picture taped to the milk in the fridge. This continued throughout my entire pregnancy. I'd put it on his car steering wheel, he'd put it on my laptop screen. Sometimes days or weeks would pass before one of us would hide it again, but our little creepy bear was always ready to give us a laugh whenever we needed one. Well, one day, when I was about 38 weeks pregnant, I had had a very long day. I had a massage in the morning, had grouted tile and touch up painted the basement all day long, and then that night Eric and I went to Castle Rock to eat dinner and visit a friend. We came home and I had a glass of wine. My doctor told me it might be a good idea, to try and relax me. I was nice and relaxed from the wine, and I took a warm bath, just to top off the relaxation. I got in bed around 11:55 and laid down for the night. At 12:00 on the dot I got a really bad cramp in my lower stomach....damn spicy food for dinner! I went to the bathroom, and felt a little better, but at 12:03, I got another cramp. I went to the bathroom AGAIN and felt a little better again. At 12:07 I got another cramp and went to the bathroom AGAIN. That is the LAST time I eat spicy food....I swear! By now, I have completely empty bowels, but I'm not feeling any better at all. These stomach pains are coming about every three minutes and are lasting about two and a half minutes each. I try to lay down, thinking I can sleep off this nasty bout of a stomach virus. It occurs to me that I might be in labor, but this isn't at all what I thought it would feel like. I was envisioning sharp, well.....vagina pain. This wasn't vagina pain at all. This was stomach pain, and was getting worse with every cramp! Eric walks in the room and I tell him that I might be in labor, but not to worry yet. I didn't want to be overly dramatic or think I'm in labor, and go to the hospital only to find out that I've got the shits and be sent home. So, he gets ready for bed and finally lays down. By about 12:30, I'm realizing that these cramps are coming harder and harder. They are still about 3 minutes apart, and they are lasting almost the entire 3 minutes. I get up to go to the bathroom again, completely doubled over in pain (as doubled over as a full term pregnant girl can be) and I walk in the bathroom to find this picture taped to the mirror:

Oh My God! I'm in so much pain, but this is so funny. Laughing certainly isn't helping the pain factor, but I manage to wobble back into the bedroom to tell Eric "nice try, but this really fucking hurts and I'm quite sure I'm in labor". After waiting the traditional hour of contractions, I have Eric call the doctor at exactly 1:00 a.m. She finally calls back around 1:45 and tells us to go to the hospital. Fortunately, we live pretty close to the hospital, but on the 10 minute drive there, I was positive I was in labor. We get there and they don't have my file, so I sit in the triage unit on the labor and deliver floor for about 2 hours answering questions about my medical history and being hooked up to a monitor. My blood pressure was sky high, so they made me lay flat on my back. That's the worst possible position to be in when your having a contraction. All I wanted to do was curl up in a little ball. By now, I'm transitioning. Shaking, dry heaving, delusional. Once they got me admitted, they gave me an IV, drew my blood and called my doctor and told her to get here quick. They paged the new love of my life (the anesthesiologist) and we all sat there, waiting to get the okay to do the epidural from the lab. As soon as the nurse got the call, I got my epidural and was immediately happy again. My face itched like crazy and I was still shaking uncontrollably and dry heaving, but at least I wasn't in pain any more. About 15 minutes later I was fully dilated and ready to have the baby. We sat around for another half hour, waiting for the doctor to get here and around 5:30 a.m. this little guy came into the world.

Automated Customer Service Representatives

Do you think that the automated voice prompted systems on the phone can sense my attitude? Seriously. I hate those things. I just want to talk to a real person. Not someone that sounds like a nice lady. I want an actual nice lady. I tried ordering my prescriptions over the phone today. I would have done it online, but I didn't have my patient ID number that they needed, so I called the phone number listed, thinking they could give me the patient ID. Instead I got the voice activated system. Totally impossible with two screaming toddlers.

Fake phone lady: "Would you like to place an order for your prescription?"

Me: "Yes (with Jackson screaming in the background)"

Fake phone lady: "I'm sorry, I didn't understand you. Would you like to place an order for your prescription?"

Me: "YES!"

Fake phone lady: "Okay. Please say your prescription ID number"

Me: "1-0-0-1-2-JACKSON! WE DON'T PLAY IN POTTIES!"

Fake phone lady: "I'm sorry, I didn't understand you. Please say your prescription ID number"

Me: "1-0-0-1-2-2-3-5-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH"

Fake phone lady: "I'm sorry, I didn't understand you. Please say your prescription ID number"

Me: "1-0-0-1-2-2-3-5-7-5-8-9"

Fake phone lady: "Okay. Did you say '1-0-0-1-2-2-3-5-7-5-8-9'?"

Jackson: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Fake phone lady: "Please say your prescription ID number"


This went on for 2 prescriptions ID numbers and a credit card number. I really do hope that a supervisor was listening in on this call for quality assurance, like the disclaimer said. Maybe they will get a clue that these systems suck!

I shouldn't have to explain.....

I don't think I should have to explain myself and defend the choices I make, but since I put myself out there for the world to judge, I often do get judged. So, here I am, defending the decision to move. Eric and I have decided to move to a smaller house in the woods. Yes, it's small. But I'm not exactly going to be roughing it.

This is a picture of the kitchen in the house we are wanting to rent. NO, we have not signed a lease on this house yet. We aren't stupid. We will not sign a lease until we find a good quality renter for our home now. Are we risking losing this new rental house? Maybe a little, but we've worked out a first right of refusal with the owner of this house and are putting ourselves in the best possible position we can. If it gets rented out from under us, we'll find another house. There are lots of rental houses out there. If we can't rent our current house, we'll just stay here and nothing will change.
This is a calculated move. We've run the numbers. We've thought things through. Although it might be coming out of left field to an outsider, it's something Eric and I have talked about and thought about for a long time. We didn't move to Colorado so that our views are of cars zooming by and the back of someone's house.

The view from our back door now:

View from the new rental home:

We didn't move here so that our son can't run and play in his own yard because of the cars speeding by. Yes, we love our current house. We wish we could take this house and pick it up and move it to a couple acres in the woods. But that's not possible. This morning I was woken up by the neighbors behind us. The little boy was waking up the little girl for school. He wasn't even being that loud about it, but when the houses are that close together and your windows are open, you hear it.
We could move to a bigger house in the woods. One that wouldn't really save us that much money. We are doing this to save money and see what it's like to live out there. If, by the end of the year, we find that we hate it, we'll move back here with a big cushion in our bank account. If we find we love it, we'll continue to rent out our house, or sell it, or whatever. We'll make it work.

So, why did we buy a house that was on such a busy street and so close to other houses 5 years ago? Well, first of all, we were the third house built in this neighborhood. It was tons of land and three houses. It wasn't on a busy street. Many of those streets that the cars are going to now didn't even exist. We weren't close to our neighbors. We didn't have neighbors. We knew that there would be houses built, but we didn't really have a good image in our head of exactly how many houses would be there. We also didn't have a child at the time so a small yard and close to traffic didn't bother us. We didn't think anything of it. But now we have a 2 year old that absolutely LOVES to be outside. And when he plays out there I just about have a heart attack the whole time. His balls roll into the street. He rides his little motorcycle and I have to catch him at the end of the driveway or else he will get hit by a car. I spend my whole time watching the road and yelling at cars to slow down instead of actually playing with my child.

This is a move that makes sense for us. It's something we want to try out and see if it works. We have more knowledge than the average person about real estate and rentals. We are being smart about it. Everyone that really knows us and has spent time in our house is being very supportive, and that's really all that matters. But for the rest of you, we do care about your opinion of us, and want you to trust that we are making the right decision for US, both financially and emotionally.

The code to sex....

With big change comes sleepless nights. I'm okay once I fall asleep. It's getting to sleep that I've been struggling with. My brain goes a mile a minute, usually thinking of useless stuff. Stuff that I don't need to be thinking of. Stuff that, no matter how long I think about it, it won't change anything. So, I've had a hard time falling asleep the last few weeks. But the upside is that Eric has NOT had a hard time falling asleep and I've had a fabulous time listening to/engaging in sleep talking conversations with him. I'm not making fun of him. Really. I talk in my sleep too. I've also been known to walk in my sleep. And do other crazy things in my sleep, like take a shower and get ready for school but only kind of shower and leave the shampoo in my hair and get dressed in a crazy outfit and stand at the front door at 3:00 in the morning waiting for my ride. (That happened more than once in high school) The other night Eric told me in his sleep "find out which one requires the least music". I responded "what?". And he said "some of them, they have like.....ummmmm.....(long pause).....like hundreds of musics". A couple nights later he blurted out "it's a tube key!" in his sleep. I got a laugh out of that one. We've also had full on arguments in his sleep about him sleeping. One time he started talking in jibberish and when I started laughing he got really mad and went on and on about how I think he is sleeping but he really isn't. I was so far into giggle mode by that point that I couldn't stop laughing and was just egging him on. My very favorite sleep talk conversation with Eric happened a few years ago. I was lying awake in bed and all of the sudden he started laughing. "What's so funny?" I asked. "I finally figured it out!" he said excitedly. "Figured what out?" "The code to sex! I know the code to sex!" "What is it?" I asked. "7324!" he responded. Then continued to laugh. So if anyone is looking for the code to sex it's 7324. You're welcome.

When the wheels come down.....

I've been back on Facebook for 4 days. I went 31 days without my typical social networking. I'm not gonna lie. I did go on Facebook last month, however, it was for business purposes. I'm working on selling kids shirts for the 110 alum, and I needed to get contact info for some people, and send some messages. So, I was, occasionally, logging on to see if people had responded to messages and whatnot. I didn't check my newsfeed or notifications, and I didn't chat with anyone, which is what I usually do on Facebook. So, I would say that I, more or less, followed the rules.

So, I didn't go on Facebook that much, but here's what I did do this month:
* Made some new friends
* Reconnected with some old friends
* Figured out a way to make more money, starting in September
* Learned to sew
* Figured out how much more I can get done in a day if I wake up a little earlier
* Answered the age old question of how to lose weight and keep it off
* Gave myself a commute
* Watched Toy Story ten gagillion times
* Organized the house
* Read a couple books
* Saw a model rocket launch
* Gave myself a Brazilian wax.....kind of
* Invented a yummy mixed drink
* Went camping
* Bought ballroom dance lessons for Eric and I. We will go later in the summer.
* Reserved my spot for a painting class on August 13th.

So, am I ready to give up internet social networking? ABSOLUTELY NOT! It was nice to take a little break, but I feel much more comfortable being in the loop. I did learn a lot about myself this month though. I learned that I am my happiest and most comfortable when there are major life changes happening. (Thanks to my BFF for pointing that out ;) Both Eric and I are that way, and we excel as a couple when we have major life changes on the horizon. We don't do stagnant very well. And this is the first time in my life I've been stagnant. As a kid, everything is new and exciting. Then I started dating, and we all know how exciting that is. I went to college. New and exciting. I started my relationship with Eric. New and exciting. We moved to Denver. New and exciting. We got engaged, then married. New and exciting. We built a house. New and exciting. We got pregnant and had a baby. New and exciting. And what has happened since then? Nothing. Not new. Not exciting. And now I watch kids out of the house and am trapped at home all day. Really not exciting. I mentioned a couple weeks ago that Eric and I were daydreaming about how great it would be to have some land. Well, those daydreams have become serious conversations. The daydreams have become going out and looking at homes in the woods. They've become calling lenders and getting quotes. And since we've been daydreaming and acting on our daydreams, Eric and I, as individuals and as a couple, have been happier than we have been in a while. We are ready for a change. We are those people that need change regularly. And while we are both working on being truly happy no matter what our circumstances, this is something that is making us happy right now. Selling our house isn't something we are ready to do quite yet. We LOVE our house. We HATE how small the yard is. So, we are thinking of renting out our current home, and renting a place out in the middle of the woods. This is rather funny, given that we own 5 (soon to be 6) rental units and we would, ourselves, be renters. However, we wouldn't be your ordinary renters. We would be renters with a purpose. A purpose of seeing if we really do like living in the middle of nowhere. Seeing if we can handle the commute. And also, we can save a ton of money if we go through with this. Enough for a down payment on a dream house in a year or two. We haven't made an definitive decisions, but we are getting the wheels turning. And in the past, when Eric and I turn the wheels, stuff moves.

Don't you dare.....

It is "World Breastfeeding Week" this week. Which to me reads as "You-Should-Feel-Guilty-Because-You-Couldn't-Give -Your-Baby-What-He-REALLY-Needed-Week". I just read an article about Supermodel Gisele Bundchen saying that she thinks there should be a worldwide law that every mother should breastfeed their baby for at least 6 months. It infuriates me that she can be so stupid.....EVEN FOR A SUPERMODEL!!! Look, I know that breast milk is what is best for babies. Everyone knows that. I would never ever argue with someone that they shouldn't breastfeed. I would also never ever tell someone that they are harming their baby by giving them formula. Not everyone has the luxury of being able to breastfeed. You should consider yourself very lucky if you can. You will save money on formula, you will save time on cleaning bottles, and most importantly you are giving your baby what is best for them. But if you aren't able to nurse, you shouldn't be made to feel guilty for not doing what's best for you and your baby. (I know no one can make you feel guilty, but when you are super hormonal, plus in major pain from having a baby and trying to nurse, and sleep deprived, you can easily fall into feelings of guilt, even if you are otherwise a very strong person) I know, for me, I gave it my best shot. My doctor finally had to tell me after 6 weeks to JUST STOP TRYING! It wasn't what was best for me and the baby anymore....formula from a bottle was what was best for us. And although no one was downright mean to me about not nursing, I did feel very guilty among my nursing mother friends who were trying to be encouraging. I have no intention of trying to breastfeed if/when I have another baby. No, it won't be different next time. I WAS THE PROBLEM....NOT THE BABY! (Which makes me feel even worse about it!) In fact, I wasn't allowed to take Jackson home from the hospital until he drank a certain amount of formula from a bottle......AND THAT WAS BEFORE I EVEN HAD PROBLEMS NURSING! So, if you are able to breastfeed, consider yourself blessed. Have your week to rejoice in your awesomeness with other equally awesome mommies. But don't you dare pass judgment on me or any other woman who is unable to breastfeed. There!

Just because you can blog doesn't mean you should vlog.

There are several blogs that I read. All but one of them are people I know. The one that I don't know is a really popular blog and she's absolutely hilarious. Well, this blogger recently started vlogging. (video blogging) I've gotta say, just because you are a really funny writer, doesn't make you a funny vlogger. I watched a vlog of her's yesterday and I don't think she's funny anymore, even though she essentially read her blog on video. Her delivery sucks! It was awkward and contrived. I'll still read her blogs, but I'll pass on the videos. I'm not saying I would be any better at vlogging. I wouldn't even try it actually. I don't need to see or hear myself, and I can guarantee that mine would be awkward, because I would be really uncomfortable recording myself. I'll stick to writing and being obnoxious at parties.....

We went camping....

We went camping this Saturday. And by camping I mean, we went to a state park that's about 20 minutes away from our house. There are lots of way cooler places to camp around here. We do live in Colorado after all, but we chose this place because it is close to home. And because they have bathrooms. I don't pee in the woods. I don't consider myself a diva or someone that's not comfortable being outside and camping, but I can't pee anywhere other than on a toilet....like....nothing comes out. I physically can't do it. So, a campground is a more appropriate choice for us. We weren't sure how it would pan out, so we wanted to stay close to home. We got there around 2:30, after Jackson woke up from his nap. We decided where the tent was going to go and started setting up. After a while, Jackson and I left Eric to do the setting up and we headed to the playground. When Jackson's little face was so red from being hot, we headed back to the camp site to find Eric sitting under a pine tree in the shade. This is where we all hung out until it started cooling off a bit, listening to music and relaxing. Once it got a little cooler and we got hungry, we decided to start a fire. In the past, we've had a heck of a time starting a fire, so I got a duraflame log to get things going this time. It worked. We had a great fire going and put the hot dogs on our big fire forks and started cooking. The hot dogs were looking a little.....ummmmm....black, though. Like, not charred in a fire kind of black, but covered in chemicals kind of black. Eric insisted it was fine and devoured 2 hot dogs. I ate a bite and thought it tasted funny. I gave Jackson one bite too and decided to google "cooking over duraflame logs". My search told me that it can actually be poisonous to cook over duraflame logs. Whoops! I gave Jackson a cold hot dog and a ton of Doritos for dinner instead. After poking the duraflame log and breaking it up a bunch, I finally got our fire to be only wood and not duraflame and we made smores and popcorn over the fire. By around 9:00, Jackson was kept saying "night-night" so we put him in his pajamas and tried to lay him down in the tent in his new Buzz Lightyear sleeping bag. By 10:30, all he was doing was screaming in the tent, obsessing over every little thing. He would hear a car and yell "CAR! CAR! CAR! CAR!" over and over. He wanted to play with the flashlight so he yelled "LIGHT! LIGHT! LIGHT! LIGHT!". This continued for quite some time until I finally threatened him with going home if he didn't knock it off. Then he started screaming "HOME! HOME! HOME! HOME!". FINE! WE ARE GOING HOME! Eric was practically asleep by this point and told me that he would sleep at the campsite while Jackson and I slept at home. I told him that he was going to wake up at the crack of dawn and we weren't so he's going to have to wait for us in the morning. He was okay with that.....at the time. Jackson and I drove home and I tried putting him to bed. It was well after midnight before he finally calmed down and fell asleep. I decided that since I had only had one bite of poisoned hot dog, Doritos, Oreos, Smores and popcorn all night I should have some healthy fruit before bed, so I had some maraschino cherries, right out of the jar, and a chocolate covered frozen banana. It was now officially August 1st, so I went on Facebook and checked everything out and finally fell asleep. I got a text from Eric around 7:00 the next morning saying that there is NO WAY Jackson would have made it through the night anyway because it was sweltering in the tent and really noisy all night long. Jackson slept until 10:00 in the morning and we headed back to the campsite to pick up Eric. Maybe we'll try camping again next year? Not in July?