Thursday, November 17, 2011

Thanks, but no thanks

I know I'm going to piss off a lot of Grandmas and good ol' fashion southern and midwestern ladies with this one.  But, I'm just going to say it.  

I think thank you cards are stupid!  (You can unclench now)

I KNOW!  I know.  It's the "right" thing to do.  If someone takes the time to get you a gift or do something nice for you, the least you can do is formally thank them in writing.  But I also feel that getting some sort of form letter type thank you card that I know they sent to a million other people and only changed the name and the gift, and only did it because they would feel bad if they didn't do it, doesn't feel genuine anyway.  And even those that are genuine don't make me feel any better about a gift I gave or something I did for them.  If I give someone a gift or do something nice for someone, it's because I want to.  Not because I want a thank you out of the deal.  To be honest, we went to probably 15 different birthday parties this summer.  I have NO IDEA who I got thank you cards from and who I didn't.  I've heard so many women (because I've never actually gotten a thank you card from a man alone, it's always the woman) complain or feel stress about sending thank you's.  It's an unnecessary stress.  You said thank you at the party.  I'm fine with that.  And besides, I suck at sending them.  Seriously, so bad.  

And I honestly don't think that makes people more or less grateful for the gifts.  You are either thankful and like it, or you aren't.  The thank you card in no way reflects your true feelings on the gift.  People send thank you's even when they hate the gift.    

Dear Great Aunt Bertha,
              Thank you so much for the pink Winnie-The-Pooh baby blanket.  My baby boy Gavin looks so cute wrapped in it.  Hope your hemorrhoid surgery goes well.   Miss you!


This is, of course, happens only after Great Aunt Bertha asked your mom to ask you if you "got the present".  (code for: "I haven't gotten a thank you card yet.....I'm keeping track!" while shaking her finger)

So, here's my new deal.  If you are really thankful, you can just tell me "thanks".  I'll believe you.  You can thank me in person, you can send me a card, you can call me, or text, or email, or facebook.  Or, you can not thank me at all.  I probably won't notice if I don't get a thanks, to be honest.  I'm not saying I'll never send thank you cards out again.  I probably will.  I will still try.  Or still feel guilty for not sending them.  

And to everyone that has ever gotten me anything or done anything nice for me and I didn't get you a card?  Thank you.  Seriously.  I loved it. 

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